Pre-Islamic Age of Ignorance:    There was no set period for mourning. A woman whose husband died would wait for a year as a period of mourning. Her life during this period was pure torment. She would retreat to a dark corner of her house, wearing the most worthless clothes, not applying perfume, and not wearing any kind of clothing.

We know that the pre-Islamic poet Tarafe bequeathed in one of his verses that mourning should be observed in a manner befitting him after his death: “When I die, weep for me in a manner befitting me, tear your clothes for me, O Umm Mabed” [648]Our Prophet’s grandfather, Abdulmuttalib, also gathered his daughters and had them sing dirges when he was about to die.[649]  When mourning, the polytheistic Arabs would weep, recounting the good deeds of the deceased, wailing and lamenting, beating their cheeks, faces, heads, and knees, tearing their clothes and garments, scratching their faces, spreading the good deeds of the deceased through poems, and praying for their own destruction.[650]  Again, during the period of ignorance, the bereaved would prepare food and offer it to those attending the funeral. [651]  This was also considered part of mourning. [652]

ISLAM:  The wives of those who die among you shall observe a period of mourning for four months and ten days. [653]

Regarding the duration of mourning, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days for anyone other than her husband. However, a woman mourns for four months and ten days for her husband’s death.

Regarding those who harm themselves while mourning, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Those who beat their faces, tear their clothes, and continue the customs of ignorance are not of us.[655])At the funeral home of Hz. Cafer (r.a.), who was martyred in the Battle of Muta,Rasulullah (s.a.v.) said to his son Abdullah b. Cafer: “Prepare food for Cafer’s family. For they have been occupied with a matter that concerns them.”[656]

Nowadays: The duration of mourning is still not clearly defined today. Although this period is specified in Islam, its non-implementation makes the lives of the bereaved a torment. People who wail and lament, beat their cheeks, faces, heads, or knees, and tear their clothes, harming themselves, are frequently encountered in this day and age. This rebellion is directed at Canan, who took back the life she gave. Words such as “Azrael took him/her untimely,” “Was he/she a man/woman who was going to die?”, “We are devastated by so-and-so’s death” fall under the scope of words spoken against the Creator. It is also common to see the bereaved family serving food at the funeral home. Imposing this task on someone whose psychology has been shattered by the death of a loved one is truly the greatest hardship that can be inflicted on the bereaved. Islam, however, treats this as a matter of solidarity and states that it is the duty of neighbors and relatives to help the bereaved family rather than burdening them. These people are extremely sad and preoccupied, so they cannot even think about preparing food for themselves, nor do they even realize they are hungry. In this regard, the Prophet (peace be upon him) ordered the neighbors and relatives of the deceased to prepare food for the family of the deceased. Ibn al-Humam, in his book Fath al-Qadir, states that according to the Hanafis, it is mustahabb for neighbors and relatives to prepare enough food for the deceased’s household to last day and night. According to Hattabi’s explanation, Imam Shafi’i also holds this view. However, it is makruh for the deceased’s family to host a banquet for the public. This is because banquets are permitted for days of joy and celebration. Hosting a banquet on such days of mourning is contrary to the purpose of the banquet and is bid’ah.[657]  Jarir ibn Abdullah al-Bajali, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated: “We (during the time of the Messenger of Allah) considered gathering at the home of the deceased and (the household preparing food for those gathered) to be part of the mourning that was forbidden.”[658]

Mourning: Weeping, lamenting from sorrow or grief, observing mourning due to grief.

[648]  Nawawi, Minhaj, VI, 229; Aynî, Umdat al-Qari, VIII, 79

[649]  Ibn Ishaq, Sîre, pp. 45, 46; Ibn Hisham, Sire, 1, 178–179.

[650]  Bukhari, Sahih, II, 82-83; Muslim, Sahih, I, 99; Abu Dawud, Sunan, III, 496; Tirmidhi, Sunan III, 324

[651]  Ibn Majah, Sunan, I, 514; Subki, Manhal, VIII, 288

[652]  Ali Osman Ateş, Islam in the Age of Happiness in All Its Aspects, Beyan Publications: 2/228–229

[653]  Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 234

[654]  Summary of Sahih Bukhari, Tecrid-i Sarih Translation and Commentary IV, 363

[655]  Bukhari, Funeral Rites, 36

[656]  Tirmidhi, Funeral Rites 21; Ibn Majah, Funeral Rites 59; Ahmad ibn Hanbal VI,380. Sunan Abu Dawud Translation and Commentary, Shamil Publishing House: 11/531–532

[657]  Sunan Abu Dawud Translation and Commentary, Shamil Publishing House: 11/532–533

[658]  Ibrahim Canan, Translation and Commentary of Kutub-i Sitte, Akçağ Publications, Volume 17, p.150